Friday, December 3, 2010

“The List” or Mama?

In Sophia’s room there is a list hanging on her wardrobe.  Every morning, after breakfast, I say some thing like, “Ok, now it’s time to go do everything on your list.”  Sophi runs and checks the list so she can do it in order: 
Sophia’s Morning “To Do” List:
  •  Brush your teeth
  • Wash your face and hands
  • Brush your hair
  • Take off your pj’s and hang them up
  • Put on your clothes
  • Make your bed

After the list is done, she comes and tells me and we start our day.
One day last week we were in a hurry to get somewhere. 
I told Sophia, “Brush your teeth and hair and let’s go!”
Sophia, “But, MOM, that’s not how the list goes.  I have to do everything by the list, MOM!”  
I stopped, thought, and said, “Sophi, who wrote the list?”
Sophi, “You did Mom.”
Me, “So, I’m the maker and keeper of the list.  Listen and obey ME.  Today we just need to do things a little differently.  Don’t worry about the list, we’ll get everything done.”
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew that what I had just said, God was saying to me.
I know that God is calling me, wooing me, into a deeper relationship with Him.  
God:  “D’Anna, let go of your religion and follow Me.”
Me:  “But God, You said in Your Word that I need to . . . “
God:  “D’Anna, Who wrote that?”
Me:  “You did . . . so, how could You ask me to do something different? 
           WHO is this, anyway?  Is it really You, God?”
Me, to myself:  “What voice is that - God? or maybe it’s Satan? - or just myself trying to 
                            get out of something?”
God:  “Listen to Me, learn from Me, do as I say  . . . and all those things will get done and 
Me:  “Father, it’s hard for me to let go.  But, I do want YOU more, so much more.”
God:  “You’re doing great.  Keep going, don’t give up.  I’m right here with you.  Do you 
            hear me?”
Me:  “Yes, I know I do.”
God:  “That’s My girl!  Let’s go!  I can’t wait to show you all we’ll live together!”    
I’m learning to turn to the Maker of the List more and more.  He is scarier and more wonderful than His List.  He can give me/teach me/show me more that the List ever could.  He takes me deeper into my own heart - far deeper than the List.  He searches me, He knows me and His Fire that is cleansing me is full of Love. 
I wish I could say that I’m jumping into this relationship.   But, it’s more like a slow wading in . . . feeling the waves gently lap at my feet . . . I’m still “safe” here, but I know I’m going deeper.  
One day I’ll be over my head . . . and it will never be “The List” that gives me all I need for that LIfe, but the Maker of the List . . . He Is!

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