City of Tranquil Light - Book Review and Life

I just finished one of those books.  A book that touches you so deeply, you feel yourself on every page, between the words, inside the print . . .

"City of Tranquil Light" by Bo Caldwell.

Really, I hardly know where to begin . . .

It is about a young man and woman who go to China in the early 1900's as missionaries.  They fall in love with the country, language, people . . . and each other.

It is a love story.  The story is full of love.

• Love between man and woman.
• Love for a land - a topography.
• Love for those different from yourself.
• Love that is instant.
• Love that takes years.
• Love for life.
• Love that sacrifices life.
• Love that gives life.
• Love for family.
• Love for those who become family.

The last post for this blog was sometime early last summer.  Since that time, my life has changed dramatically.  

We left Russia, our home.  

We gave away, sold, or stored all our worldly possessions.  

We sealed up the house God has helped us to build.

We packed all we could into one suitcase and a carry-on, each.

We moved to Texas.

We are living with my parents.

We moved here to help them.

My mother has Alzheimer's.

My father is suffering the effects of a stroke.

Does that sound like much to you?  

I guess I have been busy and the magnitude of that change hasn't had time to come to the surface.  

I'm busy...

I joined a book club through our church here.  

"City of Tranquil Light" was our December reading.  

It has opened up feelings.  I'm telling you, I cried through the entire book!

I am so blessed.

I have known the love and care of total strangers who took me by the hand and helped me through the maze of a new country, culture and language.  Strangers who are now Family.

I have lost myself - and gained a new life.

I have been pushed and pulled and stretched into new faith positions that I never dreamed were possible.  

I have learned a language that was not my own heart, but became the only way I can express some of my deepest thoughts.

I have strange stories that make me laugh - from even stranger experiences that, at the time were hardly funny.

I have learned, a little, about sacrifice and letting go, and trust, and living a day at a time in faith.

I have had few possessions and felt rich beyond measure.

I have seen God change lives dramatically, and slowly, and painfully.

I have seen God from another's eyes and loved Him.

All of this and more...

Because I followed God to Russia.

It is not the end.  There will be more stories. 

Texas stories, Russia stories. 

New life stories. 

Goodness, God is not finished with me, yet!  

This book is so good.

“The List” or Mama?

In Sophia’s room there is a list hanging on her wardrobe.  Every morning, after breakfast, I say some thing like, “Ok, now it’s time to go do everything on your list.”  Sophi runs and checks the list so she can do it in order: 

Sophia’s Morning “To Do” List:

•  Brush your teeth
• Wash your face and hands
• Brush your hair
• Take off your pj’s and hang them up
• Put on your clothes
• Make your bed

After the list is done, she comes and tells me and we start our day.

One day last week we were in a hurry to get somewhere. 

I told Sophia, “Brush your teeth and hair and let’s go!”

Sophia, “But, MOM, that’s not how the list goes.  I have to do everything by the list, MOM!”  

I stopped, thought, and said, “Sophi, who wrote the list?”

Sophi, “You did Mom.”

Me, “So, I’m the maker and keeper of the list.  Listen and obey ME.  Today we just need to do things a little differently.  Don’t worry about the list, we’ll get everything done.”

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew that what I had just said, God was saying to me.

I know that God is calling me, wooing me, into a deeper relationship with Him.  

God:  “D’Anna, let go of your religion and follow Me.”

Me:  “But God, You said in Your Word that I need to . . . “

God:  “D’Anna, Who wrote that?”

Me:  “You did . . . so, how could You ask me to do something different? 

           WHO is this, anyway?  Is it really You, God?”

Me, to myself:  “What voice is that - God? or maybe it’s Satan? - or just myself trying to 

                            get out of something?”

God:  “Listen to Me, learn from Me, do as I say  . . . and all those things will get done and 

            more.”

Me:  “Father, it’s hard for me to let go.  But, I do want YOU more, so much more.”

God:  “You’re doing great.  Keep going, don’t give up.  I’m right here with you.  Do you 

            hear me?”

Me:  “Yes, I know I do.”

God:  “That’s My girl!  Let’s go!  I can’t wait to show you all we’ll live together!”    

I’m learning to turn to the Maker of the List more and more.  He is scarier and more wonderful than His List.  He can give me/teach me/show me more that the List ever could.  He takes me deeper into my own heart - far deeper than the List.  He searches me, He knows me and His Fire that is cleansing me is full of Love. 

I wish I could say that I’m jumping into this relationship.   But, it’s more like a slow wading in . . . feeling the waves gently lap at my feet . . . I’m still “safe” here, but I know I’m going deeper.  

One day I’ll be over my head . . . and it will never be “The List” that gives me all I need for that LIfe, but the Maker of the List . . . He Is!

Not Asleep - At The Wheel

Hang in there, this may be a little strange.  

Anton left at 3 am this morning for Moscow.  He stopped by his parents’ to pick them up and the three of them headed for the airport in Moscow.

I slept through it; his leaving.  I was dead tired.  

At 4am  - I woke up  . . . and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I laid there and laid there . . . wide awake.  I got up and surfed the web a little.  

After a few minutes it dawned on me, “Anton and I are on the same schedule.”

“Ha!” I thought, “I guess God is really at work making us ‘one flesh,’ our bodies are becoming sleep -tuned!”

Then, I thought, “Maybe I need to pray for Anton as he travels.”

So, that’s what I did for the next 3 hours . . . surfed and prayed, surfed and prayed . . . wide awake.

Finally, suddenly, I couldn’t hold my eyes opened one second longer and I went back to sleep.

8:30 am - I got up and got Sophia up for dance class - we have to leave by 9am.

9 am - Anton called and said they made it to the airport ok but he was having a problem with the car.

11 am -  Sophi’s dance class had just ended.  Anton called again.  He had taken the car to the service station and discovered that they had been driving all night with all 4 lug nuts on one wheel un-tightened!  

What a coincidence?!

Not for us.  

Lately, Anton and I have been praying that God would make us one - one mind and heart.  For us, this is the evidence of God’s answer.  

I can’t put a name to it.  Can barely hold it in my mind.  

Amazing . . . 

Riding for Relationship

Sophia got a new bike!  

Her first “real” (made of metal) bike. This is a big event in our house - - Papa is a bike guy, making his living selling them and spending his free time riding them fast, down-hill!

To be honest, I was a little nervous when we took her out for her first lesson.  I wanted everyone to be happy - Sophia to learn, enjoy, and GO FAST!  and Anton to enjoy teaching and watching his daughter succeed at something he loves so much.  

As we headed out to the Square, the first lesson began . . .

“keep your feet moving around . . . push, push down . . . 

watch where you’re going . . . 

keep your feet moving. . . don’t stop pushing . . . 

watch out . . . 

stop . . . 

turn the handle bars . . . 

keep moving your feet round and round . . . 

don’t stop, 

keep going  . . . “

It was so easy for her to get distracted.  

At first, this really frustrated me . . . I mean we were all so excited about her new bike and wanted her to have fun and learn . . . but Sophia kept stopping and running to do something else - like climbing up our old Smolensk canons.

Or running up to a little girl and asking, 

             “What is your name?  How old are you?”

Or running to chase a little boy on his bike - 

              just for the fun of running and laughing with him.  

We kept calling her back, 

             “Sophi, come ride your bike!”  

             “We came here to ride not to climb.”  

             “Soph, maybe that boy doesn’t want you to chase

              him.”

I kept thinking, even in that moment, 

             “Just let her have fun and enjoy the day.”  

But, there was this bike, see, and a task to do, and so we kept coming back to riding.

Later, as I thought about it, it struck me . . .

    Sophia was much more interested in SHARING the experience - with us, 

                    with the other children, 

                    with the earth and wind and sound.  

It was more than just doing something . . . it was SHARING.  

Isn’t that funny?!  

How often do I lecture her on sharing her toys  . . . ? 

Here is her favorite way of sharing and I’ve often missed it and really never knew to call it sharing.  

“Mama!  Watch this!  Look!”  

“My name is Sophia.  I’m 3 years old.  What is your name?”

“Papa, can you help me?”

“I have a new bike.  My old one got broke.  Do you want to ride it?”

That day Sophia did learn to ride - kept her feet moving around - and even stood up to pedal!

But the real joy was so much more - it was in the sharing!

Before My Very Eyes

She a totally different little girl. 

I mean, I’ve known her for 3 years now - all her life - 

                                                                   but, yesterday, I looked at her . . . and she is different.

She has fundamentally changed.

“What?! 

Wait, how did that happen?”

I’ve been scanning my brain, my memory, trying to picture what she was like before this big change.  

I can’t put my finger on it.

    

Just look at those eyes, they know something now.  

I’m telling you, there has been a major change just this week!

This has happened before, you know.  

When she was around 6 months and again at 1.  

But this time was different - I was with her 24/7 for the last week - we both had colds and Papa was on a business trip.  

I was watching her all the time . . . and, suddenly, one minute she was a new, brighter, more “with it” little girl.

AMAZING!