Monday, February 1, 2010

For The Next Year - I’ll be learning to breathe.

This is my birthday week. I’ll soon be entering a new year of life.
All of my life God has been at work. Calling me, wooing me to Himself.  
Loving me out of myself and into His Life.
He has taught me so many things. 
3 times He has completely changed me, my world, my way of thinking about Him.  All 3 times were a total wipe off of the old and a bringing in of the new. It was so radical a change that I couldn’t go back to the old, even if I had wanted to.
1st -  Relationship - in High School I came to really KNOW that God wanted to have a relationship with me. 
2nd - Holiness of God and a Love for His Word - in my 30’s I came to know Him as Holy. In this time, God gave me a LOVE for His Word - I couldn’t get enough of reading/studying/meditating on His Word.  
And now, just in this last year, I have been experiencing the 
3rd - LOVE of God
I wish I could put into words the wonderful newness of my walk with Him - of His Walk with me. . . 
Love - Love - Love - it is like I never understood this word or this Truth before. 
I am learning about Love anew.

Learning to Breathe
This morning, I was taking a shower and thinking with God.  (this is often one of the few times in my day when I am actually alone with my thoughts!)   
And, it came to me, that this year will be the year of LOVE for me.  
I will be immersed in all that has to do with God’s Love:
God as Love 
Living in His Love 
His Love expressed in and through me, my personality and gifts
 . . . not sure what all will actually be . . . 
As I was thinking, a wave of bright warm Love flowed over and around me and I was so surprised (and not surprised) that I began to cry . . . 
it was beautiful.  
I started to try to categorize it:
“God, I’m floating in an ocean of Your Love”
        -no, that wasn’t it . . . closer, IN  and AROUND
“Lord, Your Love is My Air.”
        -yes, that’s it - it is the AIR - around, in and out -
                as simple and amazing and natural as breathing - air
Later, I started researching some Scripture to memorize about Love and this one came to me first:

Deut. 30:6
    your God, 
will cut away the thick callouses on your heart, 
and your children’s hearts, 
freeing you to 
love God,
 your God, 
with your whole heart and soul, and
really live...
What an amazing Truth!
God will:
  1. cut away the thick callouses on our hearts
  2. free us - with the callouses gone, we will be free

Then, we will:
  1. Love God 
          with our whole heart
          with our whole soul
  1. Live 
        really live
What are the callouses that harden our hearts so that we cannot love God?
It came to me . . . shame . . . 
It is the shame of failing Him over and over - over and over.  
The same shame that made Adam and Eve cover themselves and hide. The same shame that pushes Sophia under a chair . . .
 “Mom, I know you are going to be angry.  I did something not right.  I know you are going to say, ‘Ohh-ohh!”  
It is impossible to Love in shame - the relationship is gone, we run from the former object of Love.  
Live in shame long enough and your heart develops callouses.  Now, there are a million reasons why it’s not possible to even be in the same room with that person.  You avoid until there is no “feeling” left.
But, your heart still aches.  There is an empty place that should have been
What if the shame was removed by Love?
What if the Other said,

 “I Love you just the way you are.  Nothing can ever change my Love.  All you have ever done or ever will do against Me, I forgive. You are forgiven - past, present, and future.  
Now, let’s put all that behind us and live together again. 
 I have so much to show you!  Just wait ‘til you see all I have prepared for you!”
The chains fall off - - FREEDOM!  
Now, we are free to LIVE
            with the One who made us
                                        loves us
                                        has so much for us!
I’m ready to learn more about My God and His Love!
I’m ready to LIVE in this freedom!
I want to learn to really BREATHE . . .   


  1. Hello! I found your blog last evening through connections with Lifestream Blog. The fact that you have the Rabbit Room also on your list of great blogs caught my eye, so I "bookmarked " you for later! :) Just want to say I enjoyed this post and can very much relate! I'm so glad God is lovingly persistent in His cutting away the calluses and I look forward to the ever-changing landscape that being loved (and freed) by Him , brings! God bless you warmly!


    1. Hi Janelle! Thank you so much for your comment! I agree with you - learning to lived really in HIs Love and feeling the absolute Freedom it brings is amazing! I feel like I'm wading in deeper and deeper! : ) I have been away from my blog for a while - - but recently posted a couple of new entries because I'm so excited about what God is teaching me in the book of Luke! : ) Keep in touch!


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